[ His distinctly small sex drive does him some favours there. He's likely one of the few humans she knows whose eyes don't wander around her. Of course, he knows that objectively she's attractive but... it's not really any of his business. This sort of intimacy, being cared for at all, is more than he feels he deserves as it is.

He does take a deeper breath when her chest presses against him, more out of surprise than anything, a breath he holds whilst she chastises him from a place of concern. That's new too. ]

I... [ He wants to say he doesn't enjoy the fighting, but he does. And when that high kicks in, he starts to see so many new possibilities- he becomes that wild, energetic boy with infinite potential that he used to be and obtains his other greatest pleasure. Growing stronger, in one big burst like a firework instead of the painful grind he puts himself through otherwise. ] ... I Don't enjoy getting hurt. It was just the only way to win I could think of- the one that cost me the least.

[ His head dips slightly instinctively as the shame of that mania sweeps across him again, but realising the position he's in currently he lifts it back up quickly. ]

But I won't lie. When my life is on the line... I never feel more alive.

[ His jaw tightens. It's a problem, not something to indulge in. ]

That is one reason why I plan so diligently. So I do not have to put my life on the line to win.