[ he's ready to check out of this conversation, and he nearly does. he tosses his phone away, flips through a few dramas on the tv, wanders to the kitchen to stare into the small fridge. he wants to reply with something acidic, like of course an idiot like you wouldn't or fuck off, because there's an uncomfortable pressure in his chest that he needs to relieve. but he doesn't think saying any of those things will make it go away.
he flops back down onto the couch, hair sprawling over the edge. ]
say we were locked in a cage together. there's no way to break out. there are guards pointing guns at you from across the room, and they tell you only one person in the cage can leave. and if you want to be that person, you have to kill the other one.
[ Rex, on the other hand, grows more invested with each comment. The only sort of love he knows is unconditional. It doesn't matter if that's between parent and child, two friends or lovers. Part of the reason he kept so far away from everyone else for so long is that that love hurts terribly. But it's also more beautiful than he deserves. But Lin deserves to know it. ]
I'm not naive enough to say something empty like I'll always be there to protect and you're not naive enough to believe me if I did.
But no matter what happens, I'll do everything in the scope of my abilities to keep you alive. I know that too sounds empty because I can fail. But there is nothing I won't do if it means success.
[ Nothing, even if it leaves scars on his heart that will never fade. What value is the black heart of a worthless man like him, compared to what needs to be done? ]
[ that's a lot to take in. lin thinks, naturally, that he has to be lying. but rex doesn't really lie. he's too blunt for that. his next thought is that he's trying to run some kind of con on him, but, again, that's not rex's style. so why would he go to such lengths to keep him alive? lin certainly wouldn't do the same for him. he'd stab him in the cage.
but he's been in that cage before, and he couldn't make the first move, or even the second. so he knows that's not true, either. the only way he'd really hurt him is if rex turned on him first. ]
the only reason i'm alive is to take care of my family. i don't need your help. you're always leaving anyway.
That's good. I think the worst thing you can do to someone is making them rely on you. Because there will surely be a time you are not there.
[ And the pain of that is what has made Rex who he is. He has always had a very distinct sense of need, and so understands the suffering of being without the people you need more than most. ]
I never want to be needed by anyone. I can't do this.
[ This comes with a picture of his hands, calloused and gnarly as they are, fingers linked with one above the other like it's holding someone up. ]
I only want this.
[ The next image is of his hands again, now turned side by side. Linked, but neither held up the other. ]
[ it’s alarming to hear it said so plainly, because he thinks this has been his biggest mistake. his mother needs him, sickly and poor as she is, and lin’s greatest fear is that he won’t be enough. even after everything he’s done, after signing his entire life away, there’s going to come a time when he just won’t be there. he’s already missed the last nine years of her life.
but it’s something of a relief to hear those next words. rex doesn’t want anything from him, which is monumental, because he doesn't think he can take the pressure of having to be someone else for someone new. the pictures pop up then, and. okay. this is a metaphor with some thought behind it to come with visuals. how stupid. how pure. ]
i have a hand mask i can give you.
[ just because they’re killers doesn’t mean they can’t have baby soft hands. ]
i can’t do that, either. be needed. not by anyone else. but i guess i don’t mind someone who lets me drink too much and draw on myself.
[ It’s not quite that. It’s not that Rex doesn’t want anything, it’s that he wants it to be mutual. Equal. He wants to admire and be admired, though he’ll always think of any admiration he is given as a trick he’s played. It’s so curious that to Lin, he’s considered a bastion of honesty who will bluntly state the truth and can be trusted implicitly. Rex can’t understand why- despite that fact that’s what he’s been doing and cultivating since they met. ]
Being rough makes it hurt less.
[ A statement both of his hands and their demeanours, apparently. ]
[ lin isn't used to honesty, not this kind. he's used to deception and being kept in the dark until someone wants to drop a bomb on his head, because they know that's the best way to control him. if he doesn't have time to plan, they don't have to worry so much about his claws.
he doesn't trust anyone, really. maybe there's a part of him that still doesn't trust rex wholeheartedly. he trusts him not to lie. but he would never cross the line and put his life in anyone else's hands. ]
well, they'll never be as soft as mine. but we can give them some moisture. have you ever used lotion in your life??
[ he's hunting through his box of masks, an absurd amount of them for every possible body part, when rex's next message comes through. what. ]
we're not going on a date, fuck off. that's for losers who believe in stupid things like getting married and growing old together.
[ who would want something so terrible.
he doesn't respond for a few extra minutes, then picks up his phone again. ]
[ That’s probably the biggest difference between how Rex deals with Lin and others- he likes the claws. He’s always been able to work out what Lin means. It’s fine. They’re both strays, dealing with things in their own way. If two strays stand together, neither owns the other but they’re both better off for it. ]
I’ve never used lotion, nor been on a date.
[ Because surely they’re of equal importance to answer, because why else would Lin ask? ]
Growing old has always been a dream of mine. Doing it with someone I like would me more pleasant now that you say it.
[ As in he never thought about it until just now. ]
[ never used lotion. never been on a date. wants to grow old. lin has never felt so affirmed in calling rex a freakshow. ]
you need to start using lotion if we're going to go on a date.
[ there is no real correlation, but it needs to be said. if there's anything lin is going to do, it's help rex take care of his hands. ]
why do you want to grow old? your skin will get all wrinkly and your hair will turn gray. i don't want to be ugly. besides, what are we supposed to do when we get old?
[ casually glossing over the fact that rex said he liked him so plainly. ]
[ he’ll have to buy him something a little more heavy-duty than what lin normally uses, but. he’s not exactly mad at the excuse to shop. it’s practically charity.
he snorts to himself at the compliment. he can be. he was, once. dirty and starving, in tattered clothes. his boss reminds me that it could still happen again, but lin knows that’s not true. he has a lucrative skill now that will keep him from ever going back there again.
live as long as possible. he turns the thought around in his head, frowning. so much of his time has been spent living day by day with no thought of an unattainable future. the future had never been a concern when every day brought a new way to face death. ]
seems like a long time to have to fill up with stuff to do.
[ for someone who’s dedicated his entire life to taking care of other people, lin can’t even begin to imagine how he’s supposed to tackle that amount of time. caring for his ailing mother and making sure his sister gets a job where she uses her brain instead of her body, he supposes.
maybe watching rex’s hair turn streaky with gray. going on dates and teaching him to use lotion like a normal person. that. seems daunting. but not entirely unappealing. ]
well i can help you color your hair if you want, but i think it looks fine how it is. even if it gets more gray, it’ll look fine.
you’ll still look gloomy anyway. but... it works. for you. i kind of like it now.
[ He suspects Lin would take the compliment that way. But it's not what Rex meant. His quiet objective appreciation of Lin's physical beauty isn't what he was referring to. Lin's fearsome personality is what he likes. But since Lin values his good looks, Rex does his best to be supportive of it. He hopes one day that's clear. ]
I've never struggled to find something to occupy my time.
Thank you. I think I'll let it grey, so I'm glad you won't mind. Do you want to me not shave for a few days so you can see what my facial hair looks like?
[ And equally, while he doesn't put much stock in his own appearance, knowing Link likes it makes him feel... warm. Wanted. He'd be quite happy to be Lin's dress up doll when the mood strikes, though sadly he's sure he'd not look even half as good cross-dressing. Besides, being 7'4 in a skirt would be begging for trouble. ]
I study. I enjoy learning new things. [ He's a fucking nerd, you knew this already Lin. ] What do you like to do for fun?
[ he has never in his life been complimented on his personality. that's new. ]
yeah. sure. i want to see it.
[ imagining rex in a skirt is only a mildly horrifying image. lin has nothing that would fit him anyway, unless he's okay with baring his midriff and other unmentionables. he's never actually seen rex not dressed like the grim reaper. ]
studying isn't for fun.
[ god. his own schooling had been unorthodox at best, fitting in strict lessons between rigorous physical training. he likes to read, sometimes, but mostly fashion magazines and cookbooks. ]
i like eating and watching tv. [ a true couch potato. the trashier the drama, the better. ] and i like shopping. mostly window shopping, because i don't have money to waste.
but none of this helps plan our date.
[ he doubts rex wants to sit around and watch lin catch up on all his soaps, nor would he enjoy being dragged around every department store in the city. lin doesn't have any experience with romance, really, and he spends a moment wracking his brain to come up with the most romantic thing he can remember seeing on tv. ]
why don't you take me to the beach at night so we can sit around and eat and look at the stars? you have to make a fire or it won't be a date.
[ Not that he's advocating it as a date activity. But he will defend its fun value to the end. His education is basically the opposite. First, his mother trained him, and each lesson was a paradise. Then he taught himself, learning whatever he wants to know- which is everything, eventually.
He actually wouldn't mind just sitting around with Lin, but it wouldn't be much of a date from what he understands. More the sort of thing you do when the relationship is steady.
Lin's idea does spark something, though- ]
I like that. Do you swim? I enjoy swimming. And drying off by a fire would be pleasant.
[ He also surprises himself with being pretty curious about Lin's swimwear. Though slightly dreading Lin's opinion on his- not to mention how messed up his body is when he isn't dressed like a grim reaper. ]
[ swimming. he can swim. does he like to swim? sometimes, when he's in the mood for his hair to get wet. sometimes not, when he thinks about all the times he was held underwater during torture simulations. on the bright side, he can hold his breath for an exceptionally long time.
swimming with rex... won't be anything like that. and if it's something rex enjoys, well. he'd like to see if he's capable of looking joyful. besides, lin has several beach looks in his closet that he hasn't had nearly enough opportunity to try out. his hand grazes the tattoo on his arm, right below his shoulder, a small black barcode. perhaps he can explain that away as a bad fashion choice, but it seems silly when rex already knows he's owned by the chinese mafia. ]
yeah, i swim. a fire is good for roasting marshmallows, too.
[ he has priorities, okay. rex must know them. ]
i have a job lined up tomorrow night, but the rest of the week is daytime stuff. you better not flake out on me. i'll kill you.
[ They both have their foolish insecurities, but being willing to expose them to each other is perhaps the best indication they're learning to trust. He's not as surprised that having to wait even just one day more feels... something. Not bad, nor good. The anticipation makes him want it more.
But an extra day does give him time to plan and prepare. Which also makes him relax- he always prefers to have all the options worked out long beforehand, even if he's entering into entirely alien territory here. ]
[ he messages him his address afterwards, right before he falls asleep, and spends the next day steadfastly trying not to think about what he's agreed to. a date. a date. lin doesn't go on dates, because they're stupid and he doesn't have time. they're a distraction. he's not interested in people. there are so many reasons he can list as to why this shouldn't be happening, but he doesn't pick up his phone and call it off. he simply stews in his own stupidity, so absurdly angry that he catches a close call on a job and ends up sporting a giant bruise on his shoulder where he'd been slammed into a wall. just what he needed for his outfit.
on the day of the date, he comes home early and tries on clothes, ultimately deciding on a cream and blue two-piece bikini. he opts for something more casual on top, denim shorts and a sheer white blouse. his hair gets pulled into a bun, his bangs and a few locks framing his face. only a little makeup. sandals with a short heel on his feet. he throws some extra things into a large tote, lotion and towels and lip gloss. his knife, a few extra bullets for the pistol. a container of dumplings and two pairs of chopsticks, because if he's going to die on this beach, it won't be of starvation.
then he waits, alternatively scowling at his phone and at the window while he looks for that ugly van to show up. ]
[ Rex spends his waiting time doing what he does best- preparing. He scouts out the beach, finds a suitable spot, arranges firewood ahead of time, so on and so on.
The van never appears, however. As comfortable as he is in it, he usually has an alternative method of transport around. In this case, he arrives on a powerful motorcycle, which he drives with the same care he does his beloved van. A surprise he hopes is a pleasant one- he knows Lin finds his van ugly, hopefully, this is more stylish. If there's anything to learn from the way Rex dismounts and pulls his helmet off and shakes his hair out, it's that he looks outstanding in black leathers. The salt and pepper stubble is a matter of taste though- it makes him look twice his age. Very George Clooney. Beneath he doesn't wear anything special, though it's several layers less than usual- just a black shirt and jeans.
He makes his way to Lin's apartment, still in his leathers, with a small bag- shaving kit. In case he doesn't like the stubble. Plus some roomy leathers meant for Lin that won't muss up whatever outfit he'll surely be looking amazing in. ]
Hey.
[ Same simple, softly spoken tone as ever as a greeting. ]
[ he's watching through the window when rex arrives, not in the ugly van, but on a motorcycle, and his mouth hangs open stupidly when he dismounts like he's in a goddamn commercial for... something. lin doesn't know. he just knows that rex looks nice. very nice. he's fuming over this with such steadfast concentration that he almost forgets to open the door, the disgruntled frown marring his features softening slightly at the compliment. cute. ]
Thanks. [ that caused him physical pain, thank you. ] You. You clean up pretty nice.
[ he does. the stubble adds a certain charm, and lin finds himself wanting to touch it. he's never grown much in the ways of facial hair over the years, and then ended up lasering it away after leaving the prison, along with dyeing his hair blonde and changing his name. he's unrecognizable from the person he'd been before, and he prefers it that way. ]
Do you want anything to drink?
[ he stalks over to the small kitchen, properly playing host, though there isn't much in the fridge. some water and juice and a case of beer someone had given him that he can't throw away but also doesn't want to drink. everything is neat and clean and carefully arranged, the only thing out of place being a magazine thrown casually onto the couch. the place is tiny but with a spectacular view of the city through wide windows alongside the living area. ]
Here's the tour. Living room. [ he gestures to the space before them. ] Kitchen. And that - [ he points to a door left slightly ajar. ] Is the bedroom. The bathroom's through there, too. This place wasn't really meant for entertaining, but the Kakyu Group owns it, so my boss put me here. The only thing I asked for was a view. Our house in China didn't have one, and prisons don't have nice windows.
[ With his morbid tone of voice, many would have assumed Rex's compliment was sarcasm or that his 'huhn' of a quiet laugh was more of a sneer than a sign of being pleased. Lin at least knows him well enough on the former. The latter... Rex doesn't know. ]
Strictly speaking, I'm scruffier than usual.
[ What with normally shaving each day. It grows fast and thick. He could probably have a full beard in a month if he wanted to- it'd be a useful trait if he wasn't so distinctive in other ways. He could grow it, do something he didn't want to be associated with him and get rid of it. Unfortunately, there aren't enough 7'4 men with permanent dark rings around their near black eyes that the beard ploy does him any good.
His eyes follow Lin's fingers for the tour, but when it's done he walks up to the window and looks out with a slow sweeping gaze- still some sunlight to burnt, but not for much longer. That's fine. That was always the plan. ]
...Do you have any milk?
[ He sounds less hopeful than even he usually does. He knows more than 90% of Chinese people are lactose intolerant and Japanese people don't fare much better. His normal comfort indulgence of dairy isn't so easily sated here. ]
If not, just a glass of water would be pleasant, thank you.
[ He says it without looking away from the view- it is very nice. ]
Well, the scruff suits you. It - it looks good on you.
[ his face isn't getting warm or anything. milk, what a stupid request, but one he aims to fill. he scowls into the fridge, grabbing a small carton and draining it into a glass. he isn't much a fan of milk in and of itself, but he does like to cook sometimes, and tries to keep some basic things on hand. he's building up a nice catalog of recipes to make sure his mother is well fed every day, when he finally sees her again. as an afterthought, he grabs one of the cans of beer. ]
Here.
[ he pads over, feeling ridiculously small next to rex's entirely too tall stature, and offers him the glass. this sort of height should be against the law. following rex's gaze to the window, he absently taps a neatly manicured nail against the glass. it's certainly a beautiful view, the sun setting over the city while buildings twinkle to life. lin hates and loves this place all at once, a prisoner to the city, but allowed to experience the comforts of life for the first time. as a starving child in the slums, he never would have guessed he'd end up here, still monstrously poor and in an exorbitant amount of debt, but still living in what amounts to absolute luxury for him. ]
I didn't know you had a motorcycle. I was expecting the van.
[ he pops open the beer despite not wanting to drink it, but it can't go to waste, so he drinks. it's as disgusting as he remembers, but he's determined to finish it. he half turns toward rex, leaning his shoulder into the window like a casual seventeen-story drop won't hurt him. he looks like he wants to say something, gripping his beer tighter, before he stalks away, disappearing into the bedroom, and when he comes back, he's holding a bottle of lotion. ]
Here. You need to put this on.
[ he grabs rex's hand before he can make a decision of his own, squirting out a generous amount, then pauses before he goes ahead and starts rubbing it in. rex's hands are big, starkly in contrast with lin's small but strong ones. the skin is as rough and calloused as he expected, and while the lotion doesn't work any immediate miracles, his hands do feel a little softer by the time lin is done working them over. ]
There. That feels better, right?
[ he snags his beer again and takes a long swig, looking at rex as if he dares him to disagree. his own hands feel nice and soft now, too. ]
[ The soft hum and quiet 'thanks' Rex gives at the compliment may as well be jumping for joy. Lin's love for good looking things is taking into account, and he considers 'it looks good on you' to be high praise indeed. The soft smile doesn't last long, as few do on Rex's lips and is missed as Lin fixes his drink. Rex has his hands crossed at the small of his back as he looks out. Even this small taste of normalcy is pure luxury to him, and he indulges as fully as he can. His eyes drift to Lin's fingers when they touch the glass- those hands are pretty luxurious themselves. ]
The van isn't suitable for all scenarios. Besides... You don't like it.
[ His instinctive need to eat and drink everything as swiftly as possible strikes again- when the glass reaches his lips, it doesn't leave them until every drop is gone, leaning back a little towards the end to make the angle as steep as possible. A few quick flicks of his thumb wipes the milk moustache away before he puts the glass down.
Just in time for his huge hands to be treated to some pampering. Every part of his hands are rough, his knuckles swollen from years of punching, the heels of his palms thickened, fingers thick with his body's attempt to pad them. Lin's, in contrast, are so small and lovely, though certainly not delicate- he can feel the strength in them as they work over his stony hands. He sees that the drawn on ring has all but vanished from Lin's skin and has a pang of... something. Something he doesn't have a word for. It's probably not accurate to say that Rex falls in love with Lin right then, but there's no denying the sudden and simple realisation he does love him, in his strange broken way. Rex just wants to be near him, make him happy. Is that so wrong? He can't imagine so. ]
Mmm. [ None of his unforeseen internal revelation shows on Rex's face as he stares at his hands, moving fingers over themselves. ] They don't feel quite so sore as usual.
[ he had deemed it good enough to kill some asshole inside, and that counts for something. but they won't speak about that, because he's pretty sure his casual recklessness and complete disregard for his belongings had traumatized rex for life. he should behave better, probably.
doing such a small favor for rex fills him with a certain pleasure, sating some repressed need for a human touch that doesn't involve violence. those touches are few and far between, usually coming in the form of entirely meaningless sex that scratches an itch but does little else. there's no affection or caring or, heaven forbid, love involved. lin knows scarcely anything about love anyway, unless it's the sort of familial bond that he's given up his life and happiness for.
it feels different with rex. he doesn't owe him anything, and rex isn't asking anything of him, either. he just doesn't want his hands to hurt. ]
Just because you use your hands for this kind of work doesn't mean you don't need to take care of them. They're the only hands you're gonna get. Don't you want to use them to touch people?
[ him, specifically. he's finishing his drink quicker now, swallowing down every awful bit just because it gives him a way to hide the stupid flush rising in his cheeks. if he works his way through the other cans, he can blame it on the alcohol. ]
We should get going soon. You've seen my place, it's nothing special.
[ he's fiddling with his bag now, throwing in more arbitrary items just to be doing something that isn't looking at rex. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
that picture akjsdhskdj
he flops back down onto the couch, hair sprawling over the edge. ]
say we were locked in a cage together. there's no way to break out. there are guards pointing guns at you from across the room, and they tell you only one person in the cage can leave. and if you want to be that person, you have to kill the other one.
you would kill me.
Seemed about right.
[ Rex, on the other hand, grows more invested with each comment. The only sort of love he knows is unconditional. It doesn't matter if that's between parent and child, two friends or lovers. Part of the reason he kept so far away from everyone else for so long is that that love hurts terribly. But it's also more beautiful than he deserves. But Lin deserves to know it. ]
I'm not naive enough to say something empty like I'll always be there to protect and you're not naive enough to believe me if I did.
But no matter what happens, I'll do everything in the scope of my abilities to keep you alive. I know that too sounds empty because I can fail. But there is nothing I won't do if it means success.
[ Nothing, even if it leaves scars on his heart that will never fade. What value is the black heart of a worthless man like him, compared to what needs to be done? ]
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[ that's a lot to take in. lin thinks, naturally, that he has to be lying. but rex doesn't really lie. he's too blunt for that. his next thought is that he's trying to run some kind of con on him, but, again, that's not rex's style. so why would he go to such lengths to keep him alive? lin certainly wouldn't do the same for him. he'd stab him in the cage.
but he's been in that cage before, and he couldn't make the first move, or even the second. so he knows that's not true, either. the only way he'd really hurt him is if rex turned on him first. ]
the only reason i'm alive is to take care of my family. i don't need your help. you're always leaving anyway.
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[ And the pain of that is what has made Rex who he is. He has always had a very distinct sense of need, and so understands the suffering of being without the people you need more than most. ]
I never want to be needed by anyone. I can't do this.
[ This comes with a picture of his hands, calloused and gnarly as they are, fingers linked with one above the other like it's holding someone up. ]
I only want this.
[ The next image is of his hands again, now turned side by side. Linked, but neither held up the other. ]
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but it’s something of a relief to hear those next words. rex doesn’t want anything from him, which is monumental, because he doesn't think he can take the pressure of having to be someone else for someone new. the pictures pop up then, and. okay. this is a metaphor with some thought behind it to come with visuals. how stupid. how pure. ]
i have a hand mask i can give you.
[ just because they’re killers doesn’t mean they can’t have baby soft hands. ]
i can’t do that, either. be needed. not by anyone else. but i guess i don’t mind someone who lets me drink too much and draw on myself.
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Being rough makes it hurt less.
[ A statement both of his hands and their demeanours, apparently. ]
Alright then.
Let’s go on a date, now that’s settled.
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he doesn't trust anyone, really. maybe there's a part of him that still doesn't trust rex wholeheartedly. he trusts him not to lie. but he would never cross the line and put his life in anyone else's hands. ]
well, they'll never be as soft as mine. but we can give them some moisture. have you ever used lotion in your life??
[ he's hunting through his box of masks, an absurd amount of them for every possible body part, when rex's next message comes through. what. ]
we're not going on a date, fuck off. that's for losers who believe in stupid things like getting married and growing old together.
[ who would want something so terrible.
he doesn't respond for a few extra minutes, then picks up his phone again. ]
have you ever been on one?
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I’ve never used lotion, nor been on a date.
[ Because surely they’re of equal importance to answer, because why else would Lin ask? ]
Growing old has always been a dream of mine. Doing it with someone I like would me more pleasant now that you say it.
[ As in he never thought about it until just now. ]
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you need to start using lotion if we're going to go on a date.
[ there is no real correlation, but it needs to be said. if there's anything lin is going to do, it's help rex take care of his hands. ]
why do you want to grow old? your skin will get all wrinkly and your hair will turn gray. i don't want to be ugly. besides, what are we supposed to do when we get old?
[ casually glossing over the fact that rex said he liked him so plainly. ]
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[ He could look it up. But he's already enjoying the mental image of Lin getting mad at him doing things wrong and helping him.
Before he addresses the rest- ]
You can never be ugly.
Anyway, I don't mean I want to grow old quickly or anything. I just want to live a long life. I want to live as long as possible.
I'm already going grey, anyway. My facial hair at least. I think I saw a grey one at my temple too.
[ Rex is a very stressed out individual. He'll probably be completely white-haired by the time he's 25. ]
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he snorts to himself at the compliment. he can be. he was, once. dirty and starving, in tattered clothes. his boss reminds me that it could still happen again, but lin knows that’s not true. he has a lucrative skill now that will keep him from ever going back there again.
live as long as possible. he turns the thought around in his head, frowning. so much of his time has been spent living day by day with no thought of an unattainable future. the future had never been a concern when every day brought a new way to face death. ]
seems like a long time to have to fill up with stuff to do.
[ for someone who’s dedicated his entire life to taking care of other people, lin can’t even begin to imagine how he’s supposed to tackle that amount of time. caring for his ailing mother and making sure his sister gets a job where she uses her brain instead of her body, he supposes.
maybe watching rex’s hair turn streaky with gray. going on dates and teaching him to use lotion like a normal person. that. seems daunting. but not entirely unappealing. ]
well i can help you color your hair if you want, but i think it looks fine how it is. even if it gets more gray, it’ll look fine.
you’ll still look gloomy anyway. but... it works. for you. i kind of like it now.
[ please kill him. ]
what do you like to do for fun?
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I've never struggled to find something to occupy my time.
Thank you. I think I'll let it grey, so I'm glad you won't mind. Do you want to me not shave for a few days so you can see what my facial hair looks like?
[ And equally, while he doesn't put much stock in his own appearance, knowing Link likes it makes him feel... warm. Wanted. He'd be quite happy to be Lin's dress up doll when the mood strikes, though sadly he's sure he'd not look even half as good cross-dressing. Besides, being 7'4 in a skirt would be begging for trouble. ]
I study. I enjoy learning new things. [ He's a fucking nerd, you knew this already Lin. ] What do you like to do for fun?
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yeah. sure. i want to see it.
[ imagining rex in a skirt is only a mildly horrifying image. lin has nothing that would fit him anyway, unless he's okay with baring his midriff and other unmentionables. he's never actually seen rex not dressed like the grim reaper. ]
studying isn't for fun.
[ god. his own schooling had been unorthodox at best, fitting in strict lessons between rigorous physical training. he likes to read, sometimes, but mostly fashion magazines and cookbooks. ]
i like eating and watching tv. [ a true couch potato. the trashier the drama, the better. ] and i like shopping. mostly window shopping, because i don't have money to waste.
but none of this helps plan our date.
[ he doubts rex wants to sit around and watch lin catch up on all his soaps, nor would he enjoy being dragged around every department store in the city. lin doesn't have any experience with romance, really, and he spends a moment wracking his brain to come up with the most romantic thing he can remember seeing on tv. ]
why don't you take me to the beach at night so we can sit around and eat and look at the stars? you have to make a fire or it won't be a date.
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I like studying.
[ Not that he's advocating it as a date activity. But he will defend its fun value to the end. His education is basically the opposite. First, his mother trained him, and each lesson was a paradise. Then he taught himself, learning whatever he wants to know- which is everything, eventually.
He actually wouldn't mind just sitting around with Lin, but it wouldn't be much of a date from what he understands. More the sort of thing you do when the relationship is steady.
Lin's idea does spark something, though- ]
I like that. Do you swim? I enjoy swimming. And drying off by a fire would be pleasant.
[ He also surprises himself with being pretty curious about Lin's swimwear. Though slightly dreading Lin's opinion on his- not to mention how messed up his body is when he isn't dressed like a grim reaper. ]
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[ swimming. he can swim. does he like to swim? sometimes, when he's in the mood for his hair to get wet. sometimes not, when he thinks about all the times he was held underwater during torture simulations. on the bright side, he can hold his breath for an exceptionally long time.
swimming with rex... won't be anything like that. and if it's something rex enjoys, well. he'd like to see if he's capable of looking joyful. besides, lin has several beach looks in his closet that he hasn't had nearly enough opportunity to try out. his hand grazes the tattoo on his arm, right below his shoulder, a small black barcode. perhaps he can explain that away as a bad fashion choice, but it seems silly when rex already knows he's owned by the chinese mafia. ]
yeah, i swim. a fire is good for roasting marshmallows, too.
[ he has priorities, okay. rex must know them. ]
i have a job lined up tomorrow night, but the rest of the week is daytime stuff. you better not flake out on me. i'll kill you.
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But an extra day does give him time to plan and prepare. Which also makes him relax- he always prefers to have all the options worked out long beforehand, even if he's entering into entirely alien territory here. ]
Acknowledged. Pick you up at 20:00?
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[ he messages him his address afterwards, right before he falls asleep, and spends the next day steadfastly trying not to think about what he's agreed to. a date. a date. lin doesn't go on dates, because they're stupid and he doesn't have time. they're a distraction. he's not interested in people. there are so many reasons he can list as to why this shouldn't be happening, but he doesn't pick up his phone and call it off. he simply stews in his own stupidity, so absurdly angry that he catches a close call on a job and ends up sporting a giant bruise on his shoulder where he'd been slammed into a wall. just what he needed for his outfit.
on the day of the date, he comes home early and tries on clothes, ultimately deciding on a cream and blue two-piece bikini. he opts for something more casual on top, denim shorts and a sheer white blouse. his hair gets pulled into a bun, his bangs and a few locks framing his face. only a little makeup. sandals with a short heel on his feet. he throws some extra things into a large tote, lotion and towels and lip gloss. his knife, a few extra bullets for the pistol. a container of dumplings and two pairs of chopsticks, because if he's going to die on this beach, it won't be of starvation.
then he waits, alternatively scowling at his phone and at the window while he looks for that ugly van to show up. ]
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The van never appears, however. As comfortable as he is in it, he usually has an alternative method of transport around. In this case, he arrives on a powerful motorcycle, which he drives with the same care he does his beloved van. A surprise he hopes is a pleasant one- he knows Lin finds his van ugly, hopefully, this is more stylish. If there's anything to learn from the way Rex dismounts and pulls his helmet off and shakes his hair out, it's that he looks outstanding in black leathers. The salt and pepper stubble is a matter of taste though- it makes him look twice his age. Very George Clooney. Beneath he doesn't wear anything special, though it's several layers less than usual- just a black shirt and jeans.
He makes his way to Lin's apartment, still in his leathers, with a small bag- shaving kit. In case he doesn't like the stubble. Plus some roomy leathers meant for Lin that won't muss up whatever outfit he'll surely be looking amazing in. ]
Hey.
[ Same simple, softly spoken tone as ever as a greeting. ]
You look cute.
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Thanks. [ that caused him physical pain, thank you. ] You. You clean up pretty nice.
[ he does. the stubble adds a certain charm, and lin finds himself wanting to touch it. he's never grown much in the ways of facial hair over the years, and then ended up lasering it away after leaving the prison, along with dyeing his hair blonde and changing his name. he's unrecognizable from the person he'd been before, and he prefers it that way. ]
Do you want anything to drink?
[ he stalks over to the small kitchen, properly playing host, though there isn't much in the fridge. some water and juice and a case of beer someone had given him that he can't throw away but also doesn't want to drink. everything is neat and clean and carefully arranged, the only thing out of place being a magazine thrown casually onto the couch. the place is tiny but with a spectacular view of the city through wide windows alongside the living area. ]
Here's the tour. Living room. [ he gestures to the space before them. ] Kitchen. And that - [ he points to a door left slightly ajar. ] Is the bedroom. The bathroom's through there, too. This place wasn't really meant for entertaining, but the Kakyu Group owns it, so my boss put me here. The only thing I asked for was a view. Our house in China didn't have one, and prisons don't have nice windows.
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Strictly speaking, I'm scruffier than usual.
[ What with normally shaving each day. It grows fast and thick. He could probably have a full beard in a month if he wanted to- it'd be a useful trait if he wasn't so distinctive in other ways. He could grow it, do something he didn't want to be associated with him and get rid of it. Unfortunately, there aren't enough 7'4 men with permanent dark rings around their near black eyes that the beard ploy does him any good.
His eyes follow Lin's fingers for the tour, but when it's done he walks up to the window and looks out with a slow sweeping gaze- still some sunlight to burnt, but not for much longer. That's fine. That was always the plan. ]
...Do you have any milk?
[ He sounds less hopeful than even he usually does. He knows more than 90% of Chinese people are lactose intolerant and Japanese people don't fare much better. His normal comfort indulgence of dairy isn't so easily sated here. ]
If not, just a glass of water would be pleasant, thank you.
[ He says it without looking away from the view- it is very nice. ]
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[ his face isn't getting warm or anything. milk, what a stupid request, but one he aims to fill. he scowls into the fridge, grabbing a small carton and draining it into a glass. he isn't much a fan of milk in and of itself, but he does like to cook sometimes, and tries to keep some basic things on hand. he's building up a nice catalog of recipes to make sure his mother is well fed every day, when he finally sees her again. as an afterthought, he grabs one of the cans of beer. ]
Here.
[ he pads over, feeling ridiculously small next to rex's entirely too tall stature, and offers him the glass. this sort of height should be against the law. following rex's gaze to the window, he absently taps a neatly manicured nail against the glass. it's certainly a beautiful view, the sun setting over the city while buildings twinkle to life. lin hates and loves this place all at once, a prisoner to the city, but allowed to experience the comforts of life for the first time. as a starving child in the slums, he never would have guessed he'd end up here, still monstrously poor and in an exorbitant amount of debt, but still living in what amounts to absolute luxury for him. ]
I didn't know you had a motorcycle. I was expecting the van.
[ he pops open the beer despite not wanting to drink it, but it can't go to waste, so he drinks. it's as disgusting as he remembers, but he's determined to finish it. he half turns toward rex, leaning his shoulder into the window like a casual seventeen-story drop won't hurt him. he looks like he wants to say something, gripping his beer tighter, before he stalks away, disappearing into the bedroom, and when he comes back, he's holding a bottle of lotion. ]
Here. You need to put this on.
[ he grabs rex's hand before he can make a decision of his own, squirting out a generous amount, then pauses before he goes ahead and starts rubbing it in. rex's hands are big, starkly in contrast with lin's small but strong ones. the skin is as rough and calloused as he expected, and while the lotion doesn't work any immediate miracles, his hands do feel a little softer by the time lin is done working them over. ]
There. That feels better, right?
[ he snags his beer again and takes a long swig, looking at rex as if he dares him to disagree. his own hands feel nice and soft now, too. ]
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[ The soft hum and quiet 'thanks' Rex gives at the compliment may as well be jumping for joy. Lin's love for good looking things is taking into account, and he considers 'it looks good on you' to be high praise indeed. The soft smile doesn't last long, as few do on Rex's lips and is missed as Lin fixes his drink. Rex has his hands crossed at the small of his back as he looks out. Even this small taste of normalcy is pure luxury to him, and he indulges as fully as he can. His eyes drift to Lin's fingers when they touch the glass- those hands are pretty luxurious themselves. ]
The van isn't suitable for all scenarios. Besides... You don't like it.
[ His instinctive need to eat and drink everything as swiftly as possible strikes again- when the glass reaches his lips, it doesn't leave them until every drop is gone, leaning back a little towards the end to make the angle as steep as possible. A few quick flicks of his thumb wipes the milk moustache away before he puts the glass down.
Just in time for his huge hands to be treated to some pampering. Every part of his hands are rough, his knuckles swollen from years of punching, the heels of his palms thickened, fingers thick with his body's attempt to pad them. Lin's, in contrast, are so small and lovely, though certainly not delicate- he can feel the strength in them as they work over his stony hands. He sees that the drawn on ring has all but vanished from Lin's skin and has a pang of... something. Something he doesn't have a word for. It's probably not accurate to say that Rex falls in love with Lin right then, but there's no denying the sudden and simple realisation he does love him, in his strange broken way. Rex just wants to be near him, make him happy. Is that so wrong? He can't imagine so. ]
Mmm. [ None of his unforeseen internal revelation shows on Rex's face as he stares at his hands, moving fingers over themselves. ] They don't feel quite so sore as usual.
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[ he had deemed it good enough to kill some asshole inside, and that counts for something. but they won't speak about that, because he's pretty sure his casual recklessness and complete disregard for his belongings had traumatized rex for life. he should behave better, probably.
doing such a small favor for rex fills him with a certain pleasure, sating some repressed need for a human touch that doesn't involve violence. those touches are few and far between, usually coming in the form of entirely meaningless sex that scratches an itch but does little else. there's no affection or caring or, heaven forbid, love involved. lin knows scarcely anything about love anyway, unless it's the sort of familial bond that he's given up his life and happiness for.
it feels different with rex. he doesn't owe him anything, and rex isn't asking anything of him, either. he just doesn't want his hands to hurt. ]
Just because you use your hands for this kind of work doesn't mean you don't need to take care of them. They're the only hands you're gonna get. Don't you want to use them to touch people?
[ him, specifically. he's finishing his drink quicker now, swallowing down every awful bit just because it gives him a way to hide the stupid flush rising in his cheeks. if he works his way through the other cans, he can blame it on the alcohol. ]
We should get going soon. You've seen my place, it's nothing special.
[ he's fiddling with his bag now, throwing in more arbitrary items just to be doing something that isn't looking at rex. ]